Horsey Humor! Snort alert-

Dear Tech Support:
Recently I purchased and installed Horse 1.0. I soon noticed that thisprogram appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time mycomputer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. Many times I'vebeen in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flashtelling me to run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applicationsI did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5, however they auto-installedwith Horse 1.0.
Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 can no longer run,crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Horse 1.0 hasattached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with foldersadded such as "Monthly Shoeing" and "Winter Blanket". Periodically, I'll geta reminder telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Horse 1.0 forthe aforementioned items.
I have tried to uninstall Horse 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to runthe uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virusknown as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!
Dear User,
Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is thatHorse 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not- it isan OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its' creator to run everything! Awarning will soon be imprinted on the box.
Since you have already installed Horse 1.0, here are a few tips on how tomake it run better. If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 andWater 7.1, you may run C:\HIRE HELP, however this will cause another folderto be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to sendpayment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1 being run again onstartup.
A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't thesolution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. You will find that, when youboot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "Colic 4.2" will haveattached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computerof Colic 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Vet 10.1", which we admit isextremely expensive, but crucial. Otherwise, Colic 4.2 will causeirreversible damage to the operating system.
Finally, it is important that you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch Ears on afairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you haveany more questions, please call our toll free number.
Sincerely,
Tech Support
Author unknown